Look I know, we are reaching with this one, but tell me that I'm not the only one who watches tele, see's an absolute athlete and thinks, 'I wonder if they would kill it in Rugby?' Yes I know, you don't have write that sarky comment that states, 'Rugby players are professional athletes that train for hours blah, blah, blah', this is all hypothetical and dream booking. I know a celebrity won't waltz straight into any Rugby team, let alone one of the Six Nations (I mean it's hard enough for a decent scrum half to waltz into that England starting jersey am I right). Let's dive into my picks:
Men's Team: Omar Sy (Number 8)
Women's Team: Lisa Zimouche (Fly Half)
Pretty topical this one with the recent success of Lupin on Netflix shedding light on the immensely talented actor and comedian Omar Sy for English speaking audiences. Despite being one of the biggest stars in France, Omar is probably far from a household name here in the UK; hopefully that won't be for long. When I was watching Lupin however, I was just pondering the prospect of him packing down at the back of a scrum. At 6ft 2 and 110kg, Omar has the bulk and physique of a big ball carrying number 8. He's also able to get around, showcasing his agility in some neat fight scenes. Lisa Zimouche on the other hand is an acclaimed football freestyler and we think she could pull the strings at Fly Half. Remember the likes of Gordon Ross who's game was built around his ability to kill off opposition with intelligent territory kicking? Lisa could do that for the French, offering a more settled and calm platform for them to play in the right areas. Also, like Omar, her agility would prove her handy in avoiding tackles and evading the opposition flankers. I feel that this is the winning combo out of the lot...
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Men's Team: Daniel Craig (Inside Centre)
Women's Team: Kate Beckinsale (Full Back)
Right, so here is our thinking with this one... Daniel Craig is an avid Rugby fan and he can regularly be spotted in the crowds at Twickenham each weekend. That means he know's his Rugby; inside centre is one of, if not the most, tricky position to play on the pitch, you need a Rugby expert there surely! At 5ft 8, he's probably a bit on the small side but think of folks like Kyle Eastmond and Anthony Allen; a mix of physicality, match intelligence, grit and skill would see him slot nicely into England's centres despite his height, pushing Faz back into standoff. With Kate Beckinsale, she is an athlete through and through. A self proclaimed fitness fanatic with one of the hardest full body workouts currently available online, we think Kate would be a cracking attack option at full back for the red roses. At 5ft 7, she just about has the height to cope with the aerial duals, she could be elusive with ball in hand and her time fighting werewolves has probably meant she can shirk a tackle...
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Men's Team: Tom Ellis (Number 8)
Women's Team: Tegan Nox (Blindside Flanker)
Big Tom Ellis has become a cult favourite among UK audiences for his turns in Lucifer and Miranda, but c'mon, this dude was made to play number 8. At 6ft 3 and 85kg of ripped muscle, he could throw it down with the pros as a Sam Simmonds or Nizaam Carr type; electric with the bulk to boot. He could also be a great lineout option, with the Welsh lineout being particularly poor during the ANC. Tegan Nox on the other hand has all the characteristics of a great Blindside Flanker. At 5ft 5 she's not the tallest, but being a professional wrestler certainly makes you match ready from the get-go. Durable, athletic, fit and accurate, Nox could be an effective jackler, a stubborn defensive force and physical with ball in hand, again, this combo could definitely be a solid fit for their national side.
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Men's Team: Michael Fassbender (Fly Half)
Women's Team: Nicola Coughlan (Scrum Half)
We've gone for very different options when it comes to our Irish celebrities. We went for presence, leadership and gamesmanship. Fassbender can command a stage, an audience and a crowd with ease; his intensity, dexterity and presence is enough to entrance any onlooker. He's also a fairly large unit, far more in the Owen Farrell build than your typical Fly Half; with Sexton constantly on the treatment table, he could slot right into that squad and add some stability. We reckon he'd be an absolute general on the pitch and would definitely bring the fear factor. Nicola on the other hand would make for a great Scrum Half. Definitely on the smaller side, she could take charge of the pack and sling the ball away pretty quickly. I've also seen her performance on Taskmaster and she definitely has it in her to think outside of the oblong box! Also being a comedian, I reckon she could get a bite out of her opposite number which is exactly what you want from your Scrum Half...
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Men's Team: Calvin Harris (Second Row)
Women's Team: Kay Lee Ray (Wing)
Big Calvin Harris is around 6ft 4 of Scottish steel and I reckon he would be an absolute unit in the Second Row's. The guy is also ripped and has the arm span of a ruddy albatross; he could be a great lineout option. A bit of a bad boy, he could also add some welcomed s***housery into the breakdown. Kay Lee Ray on the other hand is diminutive but immensely athletic and capable of being both a bruiser and a high flyer. She could supply real gas on the outside and you wouldn't have to worry about her defence either! At her height you would worry about her aerial ability, but being a high flying professional wrestler probably squashes those hesitations dead.
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Men's Team: Pietro Boselli (Openside Flanker)
Women's Team: Rose McGowan (Scrum Half)
Pietro Boselli is a male fitness model, 6ft tall and as solid as a bull. If you want a player on the flanks to target the Fly Half's ribcage, you'd struggle to find a guy who could do more damage than Pietro. Although you'd typically expect an Instagram influencer to be a better fit in the backs, not that I'm reverting to stereotypes or anything, I'd like to meet the guy with the gusto to tell him he can't player flanker. Also, can you imagine trying to smash him off of a ruck; as soon as that guy clamps on the ball, you'd need some heavy duty machinery to get him to let go. Not many people know that McGowan was born in Italy, so she qualifies pretty handily for this list. She's also in great health and known for her arduous workout routine; we could see her being a very physical Scrum Half in the mould of a Mike Phillips. We reckon her athletic build and tenacious gym regime can only contribute to her game.
Photo Copyright Credit: Fashionably Male